How not to feel bad?

Feeling bad is inevitable - but it doesn't have to be the end of the world! Learn how to handle situations that make us feel bad.

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Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

We feel bad when something wrong happens to us – or when we make a mistake. It is also possible that someone criticizes us for how we are – or maybe when we fail to succeed in our endeavors.

In the worst of cases, we feel bad when our family falls apart.

The reasons are plenty for us to feel like this, and ‘YES!’ we often do so and dwell in this feeling for longer than expected.

Feeling bad is inevitable - but it doesn't have to be the end of the world! Learn how to handle situations that make us feel bad.
Photo by AJ on Unsplash

Every living thing has its ups and downs, so we should not be too hard on ourselves when things make us feel bad.

Many instances are there where you are likely to feel bad, and it’s essential to realize that feelings of sadness, guilt, or shame are normal reactions, and they will go away eventually.

When something negative happens or is said to you, try not to dwell on it. You’ll only make yourself more upset and anxious. Instead of letting the incident fester in your mind – think about what you can do moving forward.

This way, even if the negative thing does happen again (or worse), you have a plan of action in place, which makes feeling bad much less likely.

If something terrible has happened outside your control (for example, a natural disaster), it’s OK to feel upset and overwhelmed. However, do not stay in that state for too long. Take some time to regroup and process what has happened. Don’t try to cope with the disaster all at once; give yourself time to grieve and adjust emotionally before getting back to life.

When we make mistakes, it is perfectly normal to feel bad about them afterward. Recognize that you made a mistake, take responsibility for your actions, and learn from it so that next time something similar doesn’t happen again. A good way of dealing with guilt is to talk about it with someone who will support and encourage you.

I wish to propose a few simple steps that you can follow to help yourself when you feel bad about something or a situation:

Time needed: 5 minutes

  1. Recognize that feelings of guilt, sadness or shame are normal reactions and will eventually dissipate.

    Explanation: It’s natural to feel negative emotions when something goes wrong or when you’re faced with a difficult situation. These feelings are part of being human, and they don’t last forever. Acknowledging them instead of suppressing them can help you process and move forward.

    Example: If you forgot a close friend’s birthday and feel guilty, remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes. The guilt will fade as you take steps to make it up to them.

    Exercise: Write down the emotion you’re feeling (e.g., guilt, sadness) and add a sentence like, “This is a normal reaction, and it will pass.” Repeat this to yourself whenever the feeling arises.

  2. Let go of trying to control the uncontrollable by focusing on what you can do instead.

    Explanation: Many situations are beyond your control, and trying to change them can lead to frustration. Instead, shift your focus to what you can influence, such as your attitude, actions, or response.

    Example: If you’re stressed about bad weather ruining your outdoor plans, focus on what you can do indoors, like watching a movie or trying a new recipe.

    Exercise: Make two lists: one for things you can’t control about the situation and one for things you can. Then, choose one actionable item from the second list and do it.

  3. Talk about your feelings with someone who will support and encourage you – a friend, therapist, or family member would be ideal candidates for this type of conversation (although any close friend will suffice).

    Explanation: Sharing your emotions with someone you trust can provide relief, perspective, and comfort. It helps you feel less alone and often leads to practical advice or solutions.

    Example: If you’re upset about a mistake at work, talk to a colleague or friend who can offer encouragement and remind you that everyone has off days.

    Exercise: Identify one person you feel comfortable talking to and schedule a time to share your feelings. If you’re not ready to talk, write down what you’d say to them as practice.

  4. Take time to regroup after bad events and process what has happened.

    Explanation: After a difficult situation, it’s important to give yourself time to reflect and recover. This helps you gain clarity and prevents you from reacting impulsively.

    Example: If you had an argument with a loved one, take a walk or spend some time alone to calm down before addressing the issue.

    Exercise: Set aside 10–15 minutes to sit quietly and reflect on what happened. Ask yourself, “What did I learn from this?” or “How can I handle this better next time?”

  5. Remember that mistakes are part of life and learn from them – so you don’t make the same mistake twice!

    Explanation: Mistakes are opportunities for growth. Instead of dwelling on them, focus on the lessons they teach and how you can improve in the future.

    Example: If you missed an important deadline, analyze what went wrong (e.g., poor time management) and create a plan to avoid repeating it, like using a calendar or setting reminders.

    Exercise: Write down the mistake you made and list 1–2 lessons you learned from it. Then, write one actionable step you can take to prevent it from happening again.

There is no “right” way to feel about negative events that happen in life, but following these five steps will help you healthily cope with your feelings.

Taking care of your mental health with self-compassion, making amends, self-forgiveness, and accepting negative emotions is the key to maintaining good mental health.

One perfect way that I have realized to overcome bad feelings is to practice empathygratitudemindfulness, and kindness in everyday life. 

Knowing your self-worth is extremely important in sustaining good mental health, so being self-compassionate and forgiving oneself is very helpful.

Additionally, by spending time exploring nature and connecting with other people who share your interests, you will begin to feel that sense of belongingness which further boosts positive emotions.

Lastly, accepting negative feelings as part of the human experience allows us to learn from our mistakes and move on from them – this is what makes LIFE WORTH LIVING!

If you agree with me – take a moment to explore my new book, “Your Black Diary.” In this book, I simplify life’s lessons with a process that will help you build a habit that will positively change you.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Is it normal to feel guilty or sad after a mistake?

Yes, these emotions are normal and will fade over time. Acknowledging them is the first step to moving forward.

2. How can I stop worrying about things I can’t control?

Focus on what you can control, like your actions or attitude, and let go of the rest.

3. Who should I talk to about my feelings?

Choose someone supportive, like a friend, family member, or therapist, who can listen without judgment.

4. Why is it important to take time to regroup after a bad event?

It helps you process what happened, gain clarity, and avoid impulsive reactions.

5. How can I learn from my mistakes?

Reflect on what went wrong, identify lessons, and take actionable steps to avoid repeating the same mistake.

Conclusion

Feeling bad about a situation is a natural part of life. By recognizing your emotions, focusing on what you can control, seeking support, and learning from mistakes, you can navigate challenges more effectively and grow stronger over time.


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