Forgive and Forget: Really, should you?

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We have all been there. Haven’t we? That one person whom we can’t stand, the one who has done us wrong in the past. The hurt we feel is ineffable. It’s a black hole that eats at us from the inside out. We want to lash out at that person, hurt them as much as they have hurt us. But is that the best thing for us? Do we want to carry that hurt around with us for the rest of our lives? Probably not. And that’s where forgiveness comes in – it gives us peace. It allows us to move on, find forgiveness for the person who has hurt us, and see them in a new light. Maybe not as the person who wronged us, but as someone who is human and experiences emotions like us. But, should you forgive and forget? Let us find out.

Our emotional lives as humans.

Emotions are a part of who we are, and they are a vital part of our lives. We all experience them at some point or another, and it is crucial to understand what emotions are and how to express them in a way that doesn’t hurt or upset others. Sometimes, our anger, resentment, irritation, and other negative feelings push us to hold grudges. Learning how to manage our emotional lives can be difficult but is essential for overall well-being. The best way to start is by acknowledging and accepting that emotions exist and then start working on healthily managing them. The sooner we learn how to do this, the easier it will be to navigate our emotional lives positively.

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The grudges we hold over time.

Everyone has grudges. It is a part of life. But like any other part of life, we should handle it with care and respect. After all, they are like phantom pains that keep nagging at us even long after the original issue subsides. They can take a toll on our mental and emotional health and even lead to physical health problems. The sooner we confront and address our grudges, the better off we will be.

The problem with grudges.

It can be hard to let go of a grudge. On the one hand, it can be hugely satisfying when you finally get revenge. On the other hand, it is harmful to your mental and emotional health. Also, it prevents you from enjoying positive moments in life. It is crucial to be aware of the pros and cons of holding onto a grudge. The only pro we can think of is that grudges may temporarily satisfy the craving for revenge, and that’s it. So, if you find that you are struggling to let go of a grudge, it is because it has more cons than pros. Keep that in mind before carrying on any longer.

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The essence of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not simply the action of pardoning someone; it’s an attitude of understanding and acceptance. When we forgive, we stop holding onto revenge or bitterness and instead focus on what was wrong in the situation. It allows us to move on from the past and improve our relationship with whoever hurt us. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we condone what happened or do nothing to resolve the grievance. It means that we have accepted that the other person was in the wrong and have made our peace with that fact. Consider forgiveness as a crucial part of personal growth since it allows us to put negative experiences behind us to improve ourselves.

A couple showing how to forgive - Photo by Melanie Stander on Unsplash
Photo by Melanie Stander on Unsplash

So, should we forgive and forget?

Forgiveness and forgetting are two concepts that are difficult to come to terms with. We often weigh the pros and cons and find it hard to decide. But, in the end, forgiveness is an effort, and it is a fight with ourselves. Furthermore, when we realize that forgiving somebody will only improve our mental health, we should think of it.

But is it worth the effort? Yes. Studies have shown that holding grudges has adverse effects on our mental health.

Should we all take a deep breath and let go? We think so! It might feel uncomfortable at first, but it will be better for us emotionally and mentally.

How about forgetting it? Forgetting is close to impossible as the experience is a memory. We can only learn from it and be mindful that we do not experience it again. That’s the only way forward and to live a peaceful life. books, toys, tech, & more.

Life after forgiving someone.

When we forgive somebody, there are usually feelings of relief and happiness. Life afterward becomes smooth as we start to harbor peace and optimism. Also, we act and think positively. It benefits the people around you, and you live with peace of mind. Don’t you think we all strive for this in the end? We think so!

Frequently Asked Questions

Can forgiving someone change the relationship?

Many pieces of research suggest that forgiving someone may not necessarily alter the relationship. Forgiveness is a type of closure that often helps reduce feelings of hurt and resentment.

How do you know when it’s time to forgive someone?

Forgiveness is a personal decision that each person must make based on their situation. It is all about being mindful of your mental health and self-realization. No one can force you to forgive, but it comes from within when you have realized its essence.


This blog helps you make an informed decision about forgiving and forgetting. After reading through the different pros and cons of forgiving and forgetting, it’s up to you to decide what is best for you. However, don’t forget that forgiveness is essential for a healthy emotional life. So, don’t wait too long to take action – forgiving and forgetting can be a healthy step in the right direction!

Disclaimer: The post may contain affiliate links.

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