Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
You’ve been trying to please-everyone around you.
You do things that contradict your values and beliefs. You feel like a hypocrite, but continue because you care about others’ opinions and needs.
Although people may appreciate it when you put others first, it does not make you happy.
The people-pleasing behaviors can mask self-doubt and insecurity or turn into avoidance. In either case, they are counterproductive and lead to burnout, and you start to undermine your true self.
As a former people-pleaser, I know firsthand how hard it can be to set healthy boundaries and prioritize your needs. For years, I based my self-worth and validation on the approval of others, always putting their needs and feelings before my own. It wasn’t until I realized I was the only person responsible for my happiness and well-being that I began to break free from my people-pleasing tendencies.
In today’s blog, we will share 8 reasons why some people cannot be pleased and how people-pleasing behaviors can negatively impact the satisfaction of others.
Why Shouldn’t You Try To Please-Everyone?
People pleasers often agree and accommodate their relationships and friendships. They see people-pleasing as an easy way to earn others’ approval and acceptance.
Hold it! Must you earn others’ approval and acceptance?
Think it loud and clear. Being a people pleaser makes you lose touch with your ideas, interests, and passions. Isn’t it boring, if not devastating?
Moreover, depression and stress take over your life as there is no end to pleasing people. Trying to be a perfectionist for others, you only become annoyed and irritated in this pursuit.
All the fun of life is happily flushed. Do you want that to happen?
So, can you reduce and avoid your people-pleasing behavior? Find out after these 8 reasons you cannot please-everyone.
8 Reasons You Cannot Please-Everyone
It is hard to please-everyone, and when you try, it leads to mental health issues.
Read these reasons why there is no point in pleasing everyone.
People Have Different Preferences
People have different tastes and opinions of the world. What one person finds enjoyable or helpful, another person may not. So, trying to please-everyone only leads to frustration.
For example, let’s say you’re trying to organize an event and putting effort balancing everyone’s food preferences. Some people prefer vegetarian options, while others prefer meat-based dishes.
Some people have allergies or dietary restrictions that make certain foods off-limits. It is hard to cater to everyone’s preferences and create a cohesive menu that everyone enjoys.
Moreover, it is futile.
Remember, it’s impossible to make everyone happy. So, focus on doing what you think is right. That will benefit the majority.
Not Everyone Has the Same Expectations
In relationships, there are always going to be expectations that individuals have.
Sometimes people become anxious and insecure about meeting these expectations, making them conform to fit in forcefully.
For example, one person expects a lot of attention and affection from their partner, while another prefers more space and independence. One person prioritizes financial stability and security, while another prioritizes personal fulfillment and adventure.
These differing expectations will cause conflicts and make it difficult to satisfy everyone.
Not Everyone Has the Same Values
Undoubtedly! People have different beliefs, ethics, and principles that guide behavior and decision-making. What one person considers important or worthwhile may be entirely different from the other.
For example, when organizing a charity event, you want to please-everyone’s values. Some prioritize environmental conservation, while others lean on social justice or animal rights.
Furthermore, aligning everyone’s values and creating a meaningful and purposeful event is difficult.
You Can’t Do Everything
Unfortunately, we only have 24 hours in a day – right? And humans have limited energy, resources, and attention to spend on others.
I am being brutally practical here.
For example, a manager is trying to please all employees. They try to accommodate their schedules, preferences, and needs, everything! But ultimately, it’s impossible to do everything.
Similarly, in personal relationships, you might try to be there for your friends and family to attend every event and fulfill all your commitments. But eventually, you run out of time and energy.
So, recognize your limitations and prioritize them.
Not Everyone Will Agree With You
Like every fingerprint is different from each other, we all have our unique experiences and perspectives. With unique experiences, we can see things differently and arrive at different conclusions.
It means that not everyone will agree with your decisions or preferences. And it doesn’t matter how hard you try.
Conflicts will arise.
So, wisely accept the fact and move on.
You Can’t Meet Everyone’s Needs
In our minds, we all have desires and needs that are wildly different and sometimes secretive.
Expressing them may affect other aspects of our life.
For example, you need to focus on your well-being and mental health, but someone else also needs your support and attention. These conflicting needs create tension and make it impossible to meet everyone’s needs.
Trying to meet everyone’s needs can also lead to burnout and exhaustion. You may find yourself constantly giving and sacrificing your needs, which leads to resentment and frustration.
Ultimately, remember that meeting everyone’s needs all the time is impossible. While being kind and considerate is good, you can’t sacrifice your well-being and needs.
So, focus on setting realistic expectations and boundaries. Communicate with others about your limits, and be open to arriving at a win-win situation.
Remember, it’s okay to say ‘no’ and prioritize your needs and well-being. Don’t run around to please-everyone.
Not Everyone Will Like You
This is a classic!
Is there a person without a degree of hatred?
No.
Someone will hate you. It’s just a fact of life.
Some criticize you without reason, others stay unkind and condescending, while still others simply hate your guts because they don’t understand you.
So if someone doesn’t like you for who you are – well! Tough luck! Live in the present moment and focus on what matters most- yourself!
You Can’t Do the Impossible
Imagine a life where you can do everything, and nothing is impossible. Isn’t that great?
But being practical, it is not the case. Everyone has limitations influenced by social constructs.
So, it is wise to build your skills and master them overtime, (yes, it takes time and discipline)
How to avoid People-Pleasing Behaviors?
To avoid people-pleasing behaviors, set clear boundaries, communicate honestly, and prioritize your needs. Learn to say no, and remember it’s okay to disappoint others sometimes.
We must recognize that we can’t control others’ feelings and opinions. So, focus on building genuine connections rather than trying to please-everyone.
Setting healthy boundaries is a good thing, even if it means facing rejection or disapproval from others. It’s important to remember that not everyone will understand or support your choices, but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong or unworthy. You’re showing self-respect and building self-worth by valuing your needs and feelings.
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Conclusion
Pleasing everyone is indeed impossible in one lifetime.
However, create a sense of belonging and a good atmosphere for others to flourish. Do it by being friendly, helpful, and approachable.
Besides, people will generally like you more if they find you are genuine and open. So, try to be yourself and do not conform to what others want you to become.
Furthermore, remember that people are different. Not all value the same things or have similar expectations. Also, you cannot control how others see you or how they treat you. But with a little effort, people should come around to appreciate your company and see the value of getting to know you.
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